How I Left Porn for Allah | An Islamic Recovery Guide

How I Left Porn for Allah|An Islamic Recovery Guide

Introduction – The Shame of Sin vs the Sweetness of Leaving It for Allah

There was a time in my life when I was only inches away from selling my Lord and His Hereafter for a few moments of forbidden pleasure — a step that could have dragged me into prostitution.

A click, a glance, a touch — and it could have been over.

The temptation was strong — the allure of semi-nude women who stirred my lust to disobey my Lord and commit masturbation and shameful deeds.

I was on the verge of trading my Lord and my Hereafter for a fleeting, shameful sin.

But then Allah intervened.

He forbade me from shamelessness and reminded me of His command:

“Indeed, Allah commands justice, good conduct, and giving to relatives, and forbids shamelessness (fahshā’), evil deeds (munkar), and transgression (baghy). He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded.”(Qur’an 16:90)

Allah promised something far greater than the temporary pleasure of this world — the women of everlasting youth and purity in Paradise.

Limiting Their Gaze (Chaste, Exclusive)

“In them are women limiting their gaze, untouched before them by man or jinn.” (55:56)

“And with them are women restraining their glances, with beautiful eyes.”(37:48)

“And with them are women limiting their gaze, equal in age.”(38:52)

2. Guarded, Secluded in Pavilions

“Fair ones, guarded in pavilions.”(55:72)

3. Pure, Untouched, Preserved

“Indeed, We have created them with a special creation, and made them virgins.”(56:35–36)

“And for them therein are purified spouses.”(2:25)

“As if they were delicate eggs, well-protected.”(Qur’an 37:49)

“Indeed, We have produced the women of Paradise in a [new] creation, and made them virgins, devoted [to their husbands] and of equal age.”

(Qur’an 56:35–37)

Description Summary

The women of Jannah are described by Allah as:

Limiting their gaze (exclusive, chaste)

Guarded in pavilions (honored, protected)

Pure, untouched, specially created

Equal in age, harmony, and perfection

All of this is for the muttaqīn — those who restrained themselves from the forbidden in the dunya.

The Hadith of the Bone Marrow of the Women of Jannah

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

“The first group to enter Paradise will be like the moon on the night when it is full. They will not spit, nor blow their noses, nor relieve themselves. Their vessels will be of gold, their combs of gold and silver, their incense burners of aloeswood, and their sweat will be musk. Each one of them will have two wives, the marrow of whose shanks can be seen through the flesh because of their extreme beauty.”

📚 Source:

Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, Book of Beginning of Creation

Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, Book of Paradise

📌 Status: Muttafaqun ‘alayh [Highest level of authenticity](agreed upon)[narrated in both bukhari and Muslim]

Key Phrase Explained

“The marrow of whose shanks can be seen through the flesh”It describes absolute purity, radiance, and perfection — no darkness, no impurity, no flaws.

The bodies of Jannah are light-filled and radiant, not dense or dark like worldly bodies.

Why This Hadith Matters

Those who reduced their gaze,who restrained desire,who guarded chastity,and who obeyed Allah in secret and public,are honored with what the world can never offer.

“No soul knows what joy has been hidden for them.”

(Qur’an 32:17)

Short Reminder

“If the beauty of the women of Jannah is such that even their marrow shines through their flesh, then what must be the beauty of the woman from this world who will be married to you in the Hereafter, if she was not already married to you in this world? And what loss is a moment of sin compared to that honor?”

Hadith Evidence Supporting This Meaning

The Prophet ﷺ said:

“The women of this world will have superiority over the women of Paradise (ḥūr al-ʿīn) just as the outer garment has superiority over the inner garment.”

📚 Reported by Al-Ṭabarānī📌 Graded ḥasan by a number of scholars due to supporting narrations.

This shows that a righteous woman from the dunya — who believed, prayed, guarded her chastity, and obeyed Allah — will be more beautiful and higher in rank than the ḥūr of Jannah.

The Prophet ﷺ also said:

“If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise from whichever gate of Paradise you wish.’”

📚 Musnad Aḥmad📌 Ṣaḥīḥ according to al-Albānī

And Allah says:

“Enter Paradise, you and your spouses, in happiness.”

(Qur’an 43:70)

This confirms that the believing spouses of this world are reunited in Jannah, elevated in beauty, purity, and honor beyond imagination.

Conclusion (Unchanged Meaning, Reinforced)

If the ḥūr al-ʿīn, who are specially created, possess such radiance,then the believing woman of this world — refined by faith, patience, prayer, and chastity — will be even more radiant and honored.

So what is a moment of sin compared to:

an eternal marriage,

perfected beauty,

and the pleasure of Allah?

Nothing.

The Whisper of Shayṭān

At first, Shayṭān whispered to me the same lie he told the disbelievers:

“Hayhāta hayhāta limā tū‘adūn.”

“Far, far is that which you are promised.”(Qur’an 23:36)

Just as they mocked the Resurrection and the Hereafter, claiming it was too far-fetched, Shayṭān tried to make me doubt Allah’s promise.

The Command of Prayer

But Allah commands:

“Indeed, prayer has been decreed upon the believers at specified times.”(Qur’an 4:103)

And when you obey Allah, you realize:

“And the matter of the Hour is not but as the twinkling of an eye or even nearer.”(Qur’an 16:77)

Death is even closer — sudden and unpredictable:

“No soul knows what it will earn tomorrow, and no soul knows in what land it will die.”(Qur’an 31:34)

The Reality of Creation and Resurrection

Just as Allah created us in stages:

“He created you in stages.”(Qur’an 71:14)

“And indeed We created man from an extract of clay. Then We placed him as a drop (nutfah) in a secure resting place. Then We made the drop into a clinging clot (‘alaqah), then We made the clot into a lump (mudghah), then We made from the lump bones, then We clothed the bones with flesh, then We brought it forth as another creation. So blessed is Allah, the Best of Creators.”(Qur’an 23:12–14)

He will recreate us:

“Just as We began the first creation, We will repeat it — a promise binding upon Us. Indeed, We will do it.”(Qur’an 21:104)

“Does man think that We will not assemble his bones? Yes indeed! We are able to restore even his fingertips.”(Qur’an 75:3–4)

Even if Shayṭān says the promise of Allah will not be as “sexy” as this advanced era — gym-trained bodies, protein-fed curves, surgical enhancements, cinematic shooting, transparent lingerie — the Hereafter is another world entirely.

Here Comes the Promise of Allah

Allah says:

“Indeed, for the righteous is success —Gardens and grapevines,And full-breasted companions of equal age,And a cup filled to the brim.”(Qur’an 78:31–34)

Arabic:وَكَاعِبَ أَتْرَابًا ۭ

“And full-breasted companions of equal age.”

Explanation of the Word Kawāʿib (كواعب) & Atrābā (أترابًا)

Kawāʿib

Kawāʿib refers to the maidens of Jannah having full and firm breasts, a sign of a woman whose body has reached full youthful maturity.

Yes — linguistically, the word kawāʿib does refer to full, firm breasts, and classical Arabic scholars were clear about this meaning.

There is no need to deny or soften the Arabic.

Linguistic Meaning

Kāʿib (كاعب) comes from kaʿaba — to rise, to protrude, to become prominent.

In classical Arabic usage, it specifically describes a young woman whose breasts have become rounded and fully developed, a sign of youth and physical perfection, unlike the opposite.

This meaning was well understood by the Arabs at the time of revelation.

Classical Tafsīr Confirmations

Ibn Kathīr:“Kawāʿib means maidens whose breasts are fully developed, not sagging.”

Al-Ṭabarī and Al-Qurṭubī give the same explanation.

No early mufassir interpreted it metaphorically or differently.

So yes — it does indicate physical attractiveness.

The Qur’an Speaks Truthfully and Without Ambiguity

The description is meant to motivate restraint in the dunya, not to incite lust here.

The words of Allah are perfect for every age.

Allah Is Pure — Shamelessness Is Disobedience, Not Desire

Islam does not treat the human body or attraction as dirty.

Allah created desire, and He speaks of it with dignity, not vulgarity.

What is dirty in the sight of Allah is not attraction itself, but when a person leans toward disobedience, attributes shamelessness to Allah, and follows desire in opposition to His command.

Allah is Al-Quddūs — The Absolutely Pure.

Allah is As-Salām — The Source of Peace and Perfection.

To claim that Allah promotes or tolerates shamelessness is a grave lie against Him.

Allah Himself declares:

“Say, ‘Indeed, Allah does not command shamelessness. Do you say about Allah that which you do not know?’”(Qur’an 7:28)

This verse is decisive.Shamelessness (fahshā’) is never from Allah.

Allah Explicitly Forbids Shamelessness

Allah says:

“Indeed, Allah commands justice, good conduct, and giving to relatives, and forbids shamelessness (fahshā’), evil deeds (munkar), and transgression.”(Qur’an 16:90)

And He says:

“And do not approach shameless deeds — whether open or hidden.”(Qur’an 6:151)

So the Matter Is Clear

Desire is created by Allah

Shamelessness is forbidden by Allah

Fornication Is Explicitly Forbidden

Allah does not merely forbid fornication — He forbids even approaching it:

“And do not approach fornication. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and an evil way.”(Qur’an 17:32)

He also commands believers to protect their chastity:

“And those who guard their private parts, except from their spouses or those their right hands possess — for indeed, they are not to be blamed. But whoever seeks beyond that — then they are the transgressors.”(Qur’an 23:5–7)

Allah Legislated Marriage as the Pure AlternativeAllah did not forbid fornication without providing a pure, lawful alternative.

He legislated marriage:

“And marry the unmarried among you and the righteous among your slaves.”(Qur’an 24:32)

Marriage is ḥalāl, honorable, and purifying —while fornication is humiliating, corrupting, and destructive.

Allah Prescribed Punishment to Protect Society and Purity

Allah, in His wisdom and justice, legislated punishments to protect honor, lineage, and moral order:

“The woman and the man guilty of fornication — flog each of them with a hundred lashes.”(Qur’an 24:2)

And the Prophet ﷺ clarified through authentic Sunnah:

Stoning for the married fornicator

Flogging for the unmarried

These punishments are not cruelty — they are mercy for society and a deterrence from destruction.

The Core Principle

Allah forbids fornication,forbids shamelessness,commands chastity,permits desire only through marriage,and promises a far greater reward in the Hereafter.

To obey Allah is purity.To disobey Him in the name of desire is corruption.

Allah says:

“Allah wants to lighten for you [your difficulties]; and mankind was created weak.”(Qur’an 4:28)

Allah knows our weakness — and still He calls us to honor, not humiliation.

Conclusion

Allah is Pure.His law is pure.His limits are mercy.

What is filthy is not the desire,but disobedience dressed as Righteousness.

And Allah knows best.

Allah says:

“No soul knows what joy has been hidden for them as a reward for what they used to do.”(Qur’an 32:17)

Meaning: even these descriptions do not give us the full experience of entering Jannah and enjoying what Allah has promised — they only give us hope of truth.

Why Allah Mentions This Specifically

The fearful (muttaqīn) restrained themselves from ḥarām desires.

Allah honors them with perfect, lawful, eternal fulfillment.

This is justice and mercy, not promising promiscuity.

Summary (Clear Answer)

✔ Yes, kawāʿib linguistically refers to full, attractive breasts.

✔ This meaning is confirmed by classical tafsīr.✔ It is mentioned without ambiguity, without vulgarity, and with wisdom.

✔ The reality of Jannah is far greater and purer than worldly imagination.

Atrābā: meaning all of equal age, harmony, and perfection.

This reward is promised to those who fear Allah, obey Him, restrain their desires in the dunya, and remain steadfast.

A Grave Reflection

Imagine — even after Allah promises such immense and clear rewards,rewards that no eye has seen and no heart has imagined,we still fall into the very sins He forbade.

We prefer a moment of desire over eternal honor.We trade what is pure and everlasting for what is filthy and fleeting.

Such people are not merely negligent.

Allah describes them clearly:

“Indeed, those who disbelieve and die while they are disbelievers — upon them is the curse of Allah, the angels, and all mankind.”(Qur’an 2:161)

And He warns:

“And do not be like those who forgot Allah, so He made them forget themselves.”(Qur’an 59:19)

The True Loss

The tragedy is not that desires exist — Allah created desire.

The tragedy is that we disobey Allah while knowing the reward,while reciting the verses,while believing the promise,yet still choosing the forbidden.

Allah says:

“Has the promise of Allah become truth to you? Then why did you doubt?”

(Meaning drawn from Qur’anic themes)

The muttaqīn restrained themselves out of fear of Allah,so Allah honored them with what no restraint can earn in this world.

A Final Warning and Hope

Whoever knowingly prefers sin over Allah’s promise risks becoming among those whom Allah leaves to themselves — and that is the real curse.

Yet Allah’s mercy remains open:

“Indeed, Allah loves those who repent and loves those who purify themselves.”(Qur’an 2:222)

So let us not be deceived by the closeness of sin,nor by the delay of punishment.

Jannah is real.Hell is real.And Allah’s promise never fails.

Why Trade Eternity for Fleeting Pleasure?

Allah warns:

“It is they who have purchased error in exchange for guidance, so their trade has brought no profit, nor were they guided.”(Qur’an 2:16)

Even the most beautiful woman in this world — with the most perfect face, longest legs, and fullest breasts — has beauty that is temporary, imperfect, and mixed with flaws.

The Prophet ﷺ said:

“The scarf (khimār) of a single Hoor al-‘Ayn in Paradise is better than the world and everything in it.”

📚 Reference:

Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī — Book of Beginning of Creation (Bad’ al-Khalq)

Also reported in Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim with similar wording

📌 Status: Ṣaḥīḥ (authentic) — muttafaqun ‘alayh (agreed upon)

If a single scarf of a woman of Jannah surpasses the entire dunya and all it contains, then what of:

her beauty,

her honor,

her companionship,

and the eternal life Allah has prepared?

The Turning Point: Establishing Prayer

The greatest strength Allah gave me to quit sin began with establishing the five daily prayers — without delay, in every season, whether hungry or thirsty, in ease or hardship.

When prayer became fixed in my life, everything else began to change.

Allah says:

“Indeed, prayer prohibits immorality and wrongdoing, and the remembrance of Allah is greater.”(Qur’an 29:45)

Following the Other Pillars and Avoiding Sin

Prayer led me to sincerity in fasting, giving zakāh, and avoiding sin — even vain talk:

“And they who turn away from ill speech.”(Qur’an 23:3)

Reducing the Gaze and Guarding Modesty

For Men

“Tell the believing men to reduce their gaze and guard their private parts; that is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what they do.”(Qur’an 24:30)

For Women

“And tell the believing women to reduce their gaze and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof, and to wrap a portion of their headcovers over their chests…”(Qur’an 24:31)

And Allah commanded the jilbāb in front of non-maḥrams for women, which covers a woman’s entire body. When it is drawn down from the head, it covers even the fingernails due to its long sleeves:

“O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves part of their jilbabs. That is more suitable that they will be known and not be abused. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful.”(Qur’an 33:59)

Guarding Chastity from All Forbidden Acts

In Islam, guarding chastity means protecting oneself from all unlawful sexual acts and what leads to ḥarām, such as useless talk and interactions with non-maḥrams — including masturbation.

Allah praised the believers who guard their private parts except with their lawful spouses, and warned:

“Certainly will the believers have succeeded… And they who guard their private parts, except from their wives or those their right hands possess, for indeed, they are not to be blamed. But whoever seeks beyond that — then they are the transgressors."(Qur’an 23:1, 5–7)

The Prophet ﷺ did not tell the youth to release their desires through the hand. Rather, he instructed those who cannot marry to fast, for fasting weakens desire and shields from sin.

Masturbation pollutes the mind, strengthens lust, and distances the heart from the sweetness of faith.

True strength is in resisting the urge for Allah’s sake, knowing that He will replace it with something far better — pure pleasure in Jannah, free from guilt and sin.

The Example of the Chaste Prophets

I remembered those whom Allah praised for chastity:

Yahya (John)

“So the angels called him while he was standing in prayer in the chamber, ‘Indeed, Allah gives you good tidings of Yahya… honorable, abstaining [from women], and a prophet from among the righteous.’”(Qur’an 3:39)

Maryam (Mary)

“And [the example of] Mary, the daughter of ‘Imran, who guarded her chastity, so We blew into [her garment] through Our angel, and she believed in the words of her Lord and His scriptures and was of the devoutly obedient.”(Qur’an 66:12)

Yusuf (Joseph)

“And she, in whose house he was, sought to seduce him… He said, ‘I seek refuge in Allah…’ And she certainly desired him, and he would have inclined to her had he not seen the proof of his Lord… Indeed, he was of Our chosen servants.”(Qur’an 12:23–24)

They chose Allah over desire — and Allah raised them in rank.

Leaving for Allah, Receiving Better

The Prophet ﷺ said:

“You will never leave something for the sake of Allah, but Allah will replace it with something better for you.”

(Musnad Aḥmad – Ḥasan)

By leaving ḥarām for Allah’s sake, He replaced my humiliation with honor, my weakness with strength, and my sinful cravings with the sweetness of faith.

Final Reflection

Sin brings humiliation in this world and the next.Obedience to Allah brings dignity in this world and eternal joy in the Hereafter.

My journey away from shamelessness began the day I committed to never miss a prayer — the rope Allah used to pull me out of darkness.

Why sell the everlasting eternal home for a few minutes of sin, when Allah has promised beauty that never fades, pleasure without guilt, and the greatest reward of all — seeing His Noble Face?

Written by:An Anonymous Muslim – Al-Muslimeen Journal

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